I had originally planned that my first blog post back would be about something else – and that post is still coming – but yesterday I learned an important lesson…again. It’s one I’ve learned many times before, but I seem to have difficulty getting it through my thick skull.
I had been corresponding by email with someone and I completely misunderstood something they said to me. Because of this misunderstanding, I thought the worst about them, even though the truth was the complete opposite of what I assumed.
The misunderstanding is not what I am ashamed of. Misunderstandings happen – especially when you are discussing something important with someone who is not physically before you. I am ashamed because I shared my assumptions with others as fact. This was wrong of me, and I have been sure to let everyone know that I was wrong. But it doesn’t change the fact that I should have known better.
I should have known better for three reasons – one, because this has happened to me before. Two, because I know that it is not a good idea to discuss important topics through a text-based conversation because so much gets misinterpreted when you can’t see facial expressions or hear tone of voice. Three, because this person has done so much good in my life.
I have difficulty trusting people these days. Many people that I thought I could trust have proven otherwise, and it makes me quick to believe that people are not who I thought they were. However, I still should not have jumped to conclusions. I should have given this person the benefit of the doubt – just like I want others to give me.
I am usually pretty good with words. I could write blog posts that make it look like I have it all together, that I make few mistakes, like I know exactly what I am doing all the time. But that is not real. First and foremost, I want to be real. Not throw my dirty laundry in your face and tell you to deal with it real. Not stand on my soapbox and tell you exactly what I think about everything real. Transparent real. As in, this is who I am, warts and all (I don’t actually have warts though). There is enough playing pretend on the internet already. You don’t need another feel good blog that actually makes you feel worse because you can’t figure out how to fix your life. I can’t fix my life either.
But I know who can. I know that every time I get the breath knocked out of me, there is someone there who helps me get back on my feet. This is the part that might sound cheesy, but it’s true. That someone is God. He keeps showing up in marvelous ways. He has yet to drop a few thousand dollars, a really nice house, or a brand new car in my lap, but He has met all my needs. And to be honest, at this stage in my life, I don’t want a really nice house or a brand new car. I have my hands contentedly full with the life that I currently have.
So if you get anything from this blog tonight (this morning?), get this. Don’t assume. Be real.