Beheaded

I don’t like to over-spiritualize things, but when I took this picture, I felt as if it was another small reminder from God. Let me explain.

This plant is a spider plant. It used to have long, healthy leaves, but it was root-bound, and so unable to grow. I tried to transplant it into a larger planter without damaging it at all, but it was *so* root-bound that I accidentally beheaded it. When I finally got it out, it was just a bunch of roots.

Spider plants are self-propagating, so I decided to plant the roots in the larger planter anyway. I wasn’t sure anything would grow because of how badly I had damaged it, but I wanted to at least try. A couple days ago, a tiny little green thing popped out of the soil/river rocks. Today I checked again, and there are three little green things now – and the first one is even starting to put out leaves!

Sometimes our lives get root-bound. Sometimes we can’t grow any further because we’re stuck. Sometimes it takes giving up everything and starting all over to become the person you are meant to be. I never expected my life to take this path, but I am so grateful that I have never been alone. I am grateful that I am growing again and finding new confidence.

Maybe it doesn’t take something drastic. Maybe all you need is to move a little outside your comfort zone. Maybe there are only a few little things that need to be pruned away. Make those changes now, before you find yourself root-bound.

What looked like the end was only a new beginning. Don’t give up. ❤️

*Originally written February 12, 2019

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The Journey Begins

Had the last twenty years of my life been made into a movie, one might be tempted to view it as a tragedy. Pain, my constant companion, nearly destroyed me. Were it not for grace, I would no longer be counted among the living – even had I physically survived.

For a long time, shame closed my mouth. Fear helped keep it sealed. I didn’t want to be judged, to be found as lacking as I thought myself to be. My pain was already enough, and I didn’t need anyone adding to it. It wasn’t until my offspring began showing signs of struggling with pain similar to mine that I found the courage to start speaking out.

Even then, much of what I thought caused my pain was incorrect. I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me. It has not been until the last few months that my eyes have been opened to the truth. Pried open, in some respects, due to having preferred my blindness.

Now that the healing has begun, I have chosen to cease my silence. No longer will I hide the ugliness when transparency could potentially set others free.

Thus my invitation – grow with me.

We know we cannot plant seeds with closed fists. To sow, we must open our hands. – Adolfo Perez Esquivel

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